So I want to start off by saying, this is my personal experience. It is not my intention to make you feel bad about your child making milestones. This is just a different view point and hopefully help you feel like your not alone.
I remember when I had my first baby Landon. I had all the apps that gave me weekly updates of what my child should be doing at this stage in life. It kind of made you obsessive. Should my child be sleeping through the night? He hasn’t rolled over yet, should I be worried? I would go on instagram and watch other children do things my child couldn’t. Sometimes my kid could do things others weren’t doing. The point of all this, is I was obsessing about comparing my kid to other kids.
What makes this whole process worse is that dang social media! Not only are women comparing their looks and lifestyle to these unattainable people on the internet, but now how they parent too. It takes a very thick skin to be on the inernet and especially a parent on the internet. So mom influencers, I commend you for putting yourself out there! When I was pregnant and when I had my first son I started following a lot of people who had similar due dates or similar ages of our kids. Honestly it is fun to go through that journey with a another mom who just gets it.
I am not sure if anyone feels the same as me, but did you ever compare how your kids were doing to other kids? Not just on social media, but in real life too? I think its hard not too, especially being new parents. I know it is easy to say “well who cares” “everyone is different”. I feel I can say that now, but back then, NO WAY. I was worried. Was there something I was doing wrong? Why can their kid talk so much and mine is so quiet! How come my kid is over 1 and still isn’t walking when kids around the same age as him walked at 10 months?
My oldest Landon didn’t start walking until 16/17 months. Honestly, he was a fast crawler and didn’t have any desire too. But it broke me up inside. Did I do something wrong? Why is he the only one not walking?! Now looking back it is just a blip. The doctor was never worried, but I was. Why are we so worried that our children won’t meet these milestones. And if they don’t meet those milestones, we just have to be the big mama bears and provide him the support that they needs!
I haven’t really talked about this much on social media, but I posted a video of Marshall walking. He started walking at 15 months (I really had to think about how old he was because second child lol) I got numerous messages, like OMG he’s walking! Congrats! I don’t know why, but I was so nonchalant about it with people. I mean at home, you bet we were freaking out when he started walking, as it is an important time in a babies life! I think what made me like this was my experience going to a baby class a couple of months ago. I went in on the first day (the class was for 6-12months) so I figured, no one would be walking and it will be good for my child to get out and be with other kids his age. Wanna know what activities we did on that first day? Walking fucking backwards and walking on a balance beam. Pardon my language, but how the fuck is my 10 month old, or even a 6 month old able to do that. Also the bitch of a teacher came up to me and said, “oh he’s 10 month, and not walking yet?” I said nope, why would he be. If this was my first go around, I probably would have cried, this time around I wanted to punch her in the face. I made it through the whole session unscathed and just decided not to participate in what I didn’t think was appropriate for him and his skill level. I just wanted him to just have fun after all. Activities for babies are scarce here, so I decided to signup for another session, 12-18 months. I thought for sure, there would be other kids not walking. Nope, nothing, all walking. It was pointless and I decided to stop going. I am not going to put myself in a situation where we aren’t happy and thriving.
I am now striving to celebrate things as they come (maybe not publicly) and enjoy these little babies because they won’t be this young tomorrow.
The point of all this.
- Give yourself some grace. All kids are different and do things at different times. Your doctor will tell you if something is concerning.
- As hard as it is, do not compare! I struggle with this one still.
- If you are not happy doing something, stop doing it.
- Surround yourself in a positive, happy environment always!